Could be paradise?

 So, if you live in the north and you want a quick get away to the islands, you turn to the Great Lakes.  If you have a reallllly vivid imagination you can pretend your're somewhere tropical.  Say you're lying in your hotel room and looking out the sliding glass doors to the patio and beyond is a large body of water.  It goes all the way to the horizon.  It has waves.  Must be the ocean?  right?  Ok, so it's Lake Erie, and there are no palm trees.  It's still a darn nice view.   This weekend we did not have a view.  That's ok, it was still a great little house, and it had a hammock.  This short trip was to Kelley's Island.  I'd never been to Kelley before.  I'm usually a Put In Bay person, but we wanted to try something different.  I like Kelley.  It's quieter.  I still have the option of getting drunk, but now I don't feel like the old lady on spring break.  

My list of things to do will be short because it is sleepy.  First of all, getting there is half the fun.  If you take the Jet Express, get there early and have a drink!  Also make sure you go to the right one.  There's two.  Anyway, it set's the whole tone of your trip.  Sit on the top level.  It's windy.  It's rocky.  Your hair will be a mess.  Now the Miller Ferry is good too.  Just slow and doesn't stop in town (PIB).  What it is, is cheap, takes cars, and allows for a mellow boat ride.  You can still have a drink, but last I checked you must bring your own.  Ok so stuff to do specifically on Kelley - #1 you must have a grilled pineapple shot at the Sand Trap.  Hopefully it will turn into a long standing tradition and is still offered when (and if!) you read this.  Next, try a Brandy Alexander at the Pump.  (I just heard this establishment is for sale) Turns out its just a bushwacker with nutmeg.  Now that you're hungry, head over to KI Winery for pizza.  Hm, what's next.  Take a nap!  (Remember that hammock?)  Or cruise around on a golf cart and admire the houses.  

Now there is something really cool on this island.  I was lucky to see why it's there.  Ready?  It's a stop sign at a runway.  Let me explain.  You're cruising along, hopefully in a golf cart, and you come to this stop sign.  What do you do?  The usual, of course, check for cross traffic.  But wait!  Cross traffic is an airplane.  Here one comes!  Guess who has the right of way?  I feel this weird mixture of WTF, jealousy, and appreciation.  

Not enough?  Well, fine.  You can always find some live music on island, or if you must, hop a ferry over to Put In Bay for more insanity.  The place usually is filled with bachelorette parties and horny dudes.  Actually, if you like a pool bar as much as I do, it turns out you must go to PIB.  Sadly, they are filled with bachelorettes and horny dudes and let's face it, a lot of piss and other bodily fluids.  Seriously, one time i saw a couple doing it.  it was late at night and empty.  What was I doing there?  walking off  the booze.  Don't judge. 

Ok, enough of that nonsense.  Let me tell you about the good stuff at PIB.  There's a giant underground geode at the winery.  That's my all time favorite.  They have events.  One time I saw a parade of Clydesdales.   There's history.  Don't just visit the Perry monument.  Check out the little museum.  Go carts!  They aren't just for kids.  I liked the nature museum.  It was full of stuffed dead animals.  That's where I learned about the life cycle of the salmon.  that's not as cool as a stop sign on a runway, but still, it is our island experience.