Who is this Karen Anyway?

 Who is this Karen person anyway?

I have started to suspect there is more to my friend Karen than meets the eye.  Now, I've known her for many years, like over a decade.  So one might assume I know her very well.  So what at this juncture makes me wonder?  let's discuss.  

the majority of the time I've know Karen, she has been unemployed.  this in itself is not so suspicious.  She spends lots of time taking care of her folks.  Perhaps they pay her.  Her house is paid off; her car is paid off.  Thus few bills.  When she did work, she made enough to rent a room in Manhattan and fly home every weekend.  She may have quite a tidy sum tucked away.  I never thought too much about it, though other friends would occasionally ask me how she managed.  The only eyebrow raising thing I found, was her tight lippedness about her job.  when asked, she might shrug and say, same as you, I'm a project manager.  She worked for a bank at the time.  Do banks have projects?  I've never been one to pry as I usually don't give a shit, but this is a girl who likes to talk, and talk, and talk.  It's hard to have a conversation with her as she will assume you know what you're saying and cut you off or tell you that's dumb and go on to correct you.  I've learned to say as little as possible and just let her go.  I usually don't listen too closely get on with my own thoughts.  This may seem either cruel or you may wonder why I hang with her.  Fuck off, she's fun.  

Ok, so what else then.  Karen is adamant about not leaving any electronic traces.  She has no social media.  She asks I keep her off my social media.  One time her pharmacist mentioned he saw per picture somewhere online.  She asked I request the site to remove said picture.  Again, I don't think too much of this as one's image is very personal.  Then again add that to the fact that she keeps her phone location service off.  Which makes GPS impossible.  Her phone privacy levels are the highest they can be, and she laments the downfall of Blackberry and their excellent privacy service.  

Karen has lived in L.A., Chicago, London, New York, and still knows people there.  She knows people with vacation houses in Florida and in Spain.  She is quite cosmopolitan.  This last bit is what's wiggled into my brain.  Are vacation houses, really safe houses?  

I picture her working for some secret spy agency.  Or perhaps running from dangerous enemies.  Or both.  Did I mention she goes by her middle name?  Or sometimes just an initial?  Anyway, she must be retired now, and hiding out in my little town.  

So speaking of Spain...We went for a vacation and stayed at a lovely little place owned by her friends.  I did not note any suspicious activity by Karen.   Other than the annoying refusal to use GPS.   I did not note any unusual amenities, like I don't know, gun cubbies?  She did discourage me from doing anything on my own.  For instance, I landed in Madrid and rather take an immediate train to meet her at our place, I putzed around Madrid and took in a few sites.  She wanted me to catch the train ASAP.  Initially I suspected she thought I was too careless to be left to my own devices.  This is the type of person who was sure to point out my plane seat as if I couldn't read my boarding pass.  Back to the point... I went for a swim in the local pool.  She tagged along but didn't get in.  Only later did I realize, never was I alone, if she could help it.  Perhaps I was her human shield!  Perhaps the house shutters were bulletproof!  Or maybe I'm who's she's investigating and it's a very long game!  

Lastly, I've never seen her drunk tho i have seen her drink.  Perhaps in Vino Veritas?  

So let's say Karen was disavowed from a spy agency!  She wouldn't be able to use witness relocation protection services.  She may have created enemies.  Now she's on her own.  So her hiding is as good as one can make it without changing one's name and abandoning one's folks.  No big cities where she might be recognized.  No extravagant living that might draw attention.  When she does 'vacation' in one of her old haunts, she's a bit scared to be alone.  Did I mention she hates guns?  There must have been a mishap involving firearms!  She accidently shot the boss, who was also her lover.  Thus the disavowal.  And she has vowed to never touch a gun again, and will forever wear black in mourning!    Oh yes, it's all coming together now.  

UPDATE - She said she misses payphones.  Who misses payphones!?  Spies, that's who.