Smelly Birthday getaway

 I just had a birthday.  A big one.  So I got out of town!  All I wanted was a secluded white sand beach and sunshine.  The gulf coast of Florida fits the bill.  Anything in the southern half will also have the heat.  All in all, it was great, but that's not funny, so let's talk about red tide.  

I always thought red tide was like, an Ohio State football thing.  Turns out, its a bacteria that gets stirred up in hurricanes and kills the fish and irritates your asthma.  My secluded beach?  Yep, covered in dead fish.  No exaggeration, every three feet, dead fish.  It stunk.

So up the coast we go!  Sure enough, on the public beaches I got everything I needed.  We even got in the water.  Last day, we start wondering why everyone is coughing?  I insisted I inhaled too much sunscreen (I like the spray kind).  Also, I inhaled bacon at breakfast.  Then there's all the things that dry you out at the beach:  sun, heat, sand, salt, waitresses with super heavy pours!  

That's when it hit us.  Red tide and asthma.  Now none of us have asthma, but I'm sure the little fuckers don't discriminate!  And aren't we all feeling the remnants of covid, that lung killer?  

Well, we still think we're indestructible, thus the day drinking and excess sun.  What's one more log on the fire.  Old age won't get me.  

  


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